22A Elevator Pitch No. 3
The pitch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl16Goe-f98&t=1s
A reflection on the feedback of my last pitch:
After my first pitch, I showed it to a few of my friends and family members, and they noted that I should give a few more details about what specific services will be offered at Homeward Bound Florida. They said that I was a little vague, and could make my pitch a tad longer.
What did I change, based on the feedback?
For the second pitch, I made sure to include specific services that Homeward Bound Florida would offer--specifically, cooking classes, Microsoft office lessons, and financial literacy classes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl16Goe-f98&t=1s
A reflection on the feedback of my last pitch:
After my first pitch, I showed it to a few of my friends and family members, and they noted that I should give a few more details about what specific services will be offered at Homeward Bound Florida. They said that I was a little vague, and could make my pitch a tad longer.
What did I change, based on the feedback?
For the second pitch, I made sure to include specific services that Homeward Bound Florida would offer--specifically, cooking classes, Microsoft office lessons, and financial literacy classes.
Hi Juliana! I loved your energy in this pitch. You seem very comfortable and enthusiastic. I think you did a good job of addressing all of the issues or questions someone might have about an idea like this. If I had to come up with some feedback I would say to possibly rephrase the statistic you used at the beginning to be shorter and easier to grasp. Maybe something like saying "only 1/6 of the homeless population in Gainesville is in a shelter." This is because long statistics can be hard to visualize and grasp during a quick pitch. I hope this helps! Great job as always.
ReplyDeleteHi Julianna!
ReplyDeleteFrom the beginning, I’ve loved your idea. It's great! I know your video was cut before you finished but you were on a good path. If you were to do this pitch again potential to investors or the Alachua County Board of Commissioners, I would recommend talking about how you plan to raise money. If only for a sentence or two, it would be nice to hear about that from you.
Thank you for putting time into this assignment!
Good Job!
Hi Julianna, the passion and energy you used to deliver the pitch really stood out compared to others that I've seen. You also did a great job articulating the type of venture this is, as well as noting the specific services you will provide in a way that was clear but concise and not unnecessary. Since you will mainly be speaking to charitable donors, it's very important for you to include what services you are offering. If this pitch were given to a county board (as noted in Cason's comment) or to charitable donors, I recommend adding the impact that these investments will have on the Gainesville community. Connecting this program to the overall social good and welfare of us all can be a more effective way of selling an idea to them than even listing out what the program does in detail.
ReplyDelete